Monthly Archives: May 2008

Torture Machine

Today my loving husband encouraged me to work out and watched the kids while I did it. So I reluctantly got on the elliptical/torture machine and actually stayed on it for 20 minutes. Straight. Not switching to the treadmill, 20 minutes straight. I thought I was going to die.

Transparent

I’ve been struggling with how open I want to be on this blog for awhile now. But I feel the nudge from God to really open up, so I’m going to try to do that now. I never thought about being transparent before until our friend Jason started his online magazine, Transparent Christian Magazine. I know as followers of Christ that’s exactly what we’re supposed to be, transparent and real so others can find God through us. It’s not about being perfect and doing everything just so, cause that’s not going to happen, but it’s about being so changed because of what God has done in our lives that others want that transformation too.

In reading my pastor’s new book that I just blogged about, he talks about the “cancer of concealment” and how it can ruin relationships and marriages. It made me wonder what am I missing out on because I’m not transparent enough.

So enough stalling, probably the biggest thing I struggle with is my weight and how that affects every part of me. It affects my relationship with my husband, it keeps me from going places with confidence and enjoying the little things of life. It zaps my energy so I’m not as active with my kids. I feel like I don’t measure up to other woman who are thin, it robs me of my self esteem. And here’s the kicker, it’s all my fault. It’s my self destructive behavior that causes it.

I’ve never been really skinny, but I have been thin before. A few times actually. You would think after the first time I wouldn’t repeat the behavior, but I have. After I divorced my ex husband I dropped a lot of weight and felt better than I ever had before. I kept it off for several years and vowed I would never go back, I even lost more weight and got down to my ideal size.

Then God gave me Zale and I think my self conscience thinks that I can be happy in love or I can be happy with my body, but not both. From 2001 to now I have gained 50 to 60 pounds. (How’s that for transparent?) Yes, I know, I’ve had two children during that time, but that’s no excuse. My mind knows better, but my body doesn’t seem to listen to my mind and I continue to eat junk and not work out like I know I should.

So what’s the solution? I think it’s going to take more than willpower. This is something I can’t conquer on my own. This battle is one I’m only going to win with God’s help. So here we go; “God, I pray that you will take over, I’m giving this battle to You because I can’t fight it on my own. I know that without you I will not succeed. I pray that I won’t put anything in my mouth without it being okay with You. And I pray that in doing this and being transparent about it, others will see Your work in me and know that it’s only because of You that I win this battle. In Your Son’s precious name I pray, Amen”

Book Review

I just finished reading the book, Going All The Way, written by our senior pastor at church. I have to tell you it’s a wonderful and eye opening book. I wish I had been able to read something like this years ago. The basis of the book is about “preparing for a marriage that goes the distance”. It’s almost a guide book or a “how to” book about having the kind of marriage God intended us to have. Not the typical attitude of “Sure, lets get married, if it doesn’t work out we can always get a divorce.”

It’s great for single people and married couples. The book is available at www.mpbooks.com for $19.99, or if you attend Lifechurch.tv you can purchase the book there for $10.00.

I told my son, who just turned 15 and is already dating, that it’s going to be required reading for him this summer. I’ve never done that before, but I’m hoping he’ll take what this book teaches and apply it to his relationships. Craig Groeschel backs up everything he says in this book with scripture, which is very important and I believe anyone who reads this will be blessed.

Tabs

The following is a forwarded e mail, but it’s great and I wanted to share. I can’t take the credit for the contents though, I don’t know who originated the e mail.

I’ve been using aluminum foil for more years than I care to remember. Great stuff, but sometimes it can be a pain. You know, like when you are in the middle of doing something and you try to pull some foil out and the roll comes out of the box. Then you have to put the roll back in the box and start over. The darn roll always comes out at the wrong time.

Well, I would like to share this with you. Yesterday I went to throw out an empty Reynolds foil box and for some reason I turned it and looked at the end of the box. Written on the end it said, “Press here to lock end”.
Right there on the end of the box is a triangular-shaped tab to push in to lock the roll in place. How long has this little locking tab been there? I looked at a generic brand of aluminum foil and it had one too. I then
looked at a box of Saran wrap, it had one too! I can’t count the number of times the Saran wrap roll has jumped out when I was trying to cover something up.

I’m sharing this with my friends that did not know this. I hope I’m not the only person that didn’t know about the tabs!

Now, if someone would just make plastic wrap that didn’t stick to itself.

After reading this I went straight to my kitchen and pushed the tabs on my aluminum foil and plastic wrap. It’s just too cool!!!

The Slow Train

A while ago Zale told Hannah to get off the slow train and speed things up. I don’t know if we were trying to get her to the car or to bed or what, but today she remembered it. Zale was trying to get Hannah to come down the stairs from the bonus room and she said “but I’m on the slow train”. It has now become her favorite sentence.

Not only is she on the slow train, but everything else is too. We had gone out to pick up Anthony and his girlfriend from the White House graduation ceremony and I let her wear her Dora slippers. Apparently they are a bit stretched out and don’t stay on her feet very well. As I was trying to coax her out of the car after we got home she said, “Hold on, my slippers are on the slow train, I have to put them back on.” I have to admit, she’s pretty cute. And it just goes to show we have to watch EVERYTHING we say, she seems to remember it all!!!

Crawling

Reagan is almost crawling. She’s doing this military style crawl where she uses her arms to pull herself around, which is cute enough. Now she’s getting up on all fours and rocking, then she’ll collapse and go back to the military crawl. It’s hard to believe she’s already so mobile. And like her sister at this age, very quick. I can look away for a second, look back and she’s half way to the other room. I can just picture it now, Hannah running around chasing Anthony, and Reagan crawling around chasing Hannah chasing Anthony. Is there anything better than the sound of your kids laughter in the house?

Pampered

This morning we went to see Suzanna at Color and Spa Cafe so Hannah and I could get our hair cut. My mother in law found Suzanna through a friend when I was trying to find someone to do my hair for my wedding in 2003. It can be so hard to find someone who you trust with your hair (for us girls, anyway), so when I find a good thing I stick with it! Getting a hair cut with Hannah is a treat too. I look forward to doing more “girlie” things with her and Reagan as they get older. And that kind of surprises me, I was afraid to have a girl because I wasn’t into pink or frilly things, but it’s amazing how those things change when you have a daughter!

While we were there I had Suzanna do my make up. I haven’t had that done since our wedding and it was time to update my makeup and make sure I was using the right colors. I was hesitant to spend the extra money, but Zale was a wonderful husband, as always, and instead of complaining, encouraged me to do it.

It’s amazing how such a simple thing of spending an hour or so at a salon can lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself. Now if I could just find a way to lose 40 pounds or so as quickly as I can get my hair and makeup done, I’ve have it made! :) And I’d be rich!

Bentley

We had two couples from church over for dinner tonight. Ricky & Lindsay and Brandon & Kacie. Ricky and Lindsay have the cutest little dog ever, Bentley. The entertainment of the night was Hannah chasing Bentley all around the house and giggling her head off. I think Reagan enjoyed him too, but I’m not sure how Bentley felt about her. Bentley is all of 8 pounds and fearless. He stood up to one of our cats, who went running (the other wouldn’t come out of hiding) and our 40 pound boxer.

Ricky and Lindsay have been over a few times before and it’s always a great. This was the first time Brandon and Kacie were over, but I hope they had a good time and will come out again!  It’s always a good day when you can share a good meal with such good company!

Habakkuk

Our lesson series at church the past few weeks has been about Habakkuk, when God seems unfair. Craig, our pastor, does a great job of giving wonderful reminders that we can use every day. Three things to do when things are happening that seem unfair, or just when life becomes so hard:

1) REMEMBER what God has done in your life before.

2) ACCEPT what God is doing in your life now.

3) TRUST what God will do. “The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.” Habakkuk 3:19

And the quote from Craig that I love and need to write on a sticky note and staple to my head is this, “I have had enough yesterdays with God to trust Him with tomorrow.”    AMEN!!!