Zale has been working from home since his full time employer gave him a choice of staying employed and not taking enough time off work to study for the Bar, or to quit. Zale knew he would need at least a month of intensive studying to pass the Bar Exam. They would only give him three weeks. As scary as it was, Zale made the only decision he could, to leave his full time job and “retire” from being a claims adjuster for an insurance company. He was given a small “severance” and a going away party. This left the end of Feb until the beginning of June (when he would be licensed after passing the Bar and could make money at his new career) without a steady income.

As always God provided for us financially, and Zale was able to stay home even after taking the bar. We didn’t think it made much sense for him to try for another full time job since we knew it would be a short term commitment.

So Zale started a consulting business and began working from home. This yielded a few clients, but not quite what we hoped. Of course after passing the Bar and being licensed as an attorney, the real work started from home. This has taken some adjustment for both of us.

I have to say, I got spoiled with him being home so much. It was so nice for him to be able to take some time off, relax, enjoy his family, even take a trip to visit one of his best friends and have a guys weekend. After almost five years of working a full time job and going to school full time, he deserved as long of a break as possible!! So it was a bit of a transition when play time was over and he really had to start working from home.

One thing, maybe the most important thing to remember is that your husband is working. He’s doing his best to earn an income for his family, let him work. Make sure the kids understand that Daddy is working and he will be available later. Husbands, communicate with your wife so you’re both on the same page. Let her know what you plan for your hours to be when at all possible.

Husbands, Try to leave your home office as you would an employer’s office that you normally commute to. Don’t think just because your office is at home you should be working whenever you’re home. Set up office hours, including your lunch break. If you can, spend that hour with your family, if you can’t everyday, it’s no big deal, but every once in awhile is nice.

One thing that my husband, Zale, has found that helps him is getting dressed up as if he was commuting to an office. I think it helps his routine and frame of mind. Occasionally on Friday’s when he tries to work a half day anyway, he’ll dress casually.

The huge part of making this a success is A LOT of communication. Zale and I differ a little in how we like to keep our calenders. I’m more analog and he’s more digital. For example, I like having a paper calender that I can actually write in. Zale can’t function that way. He syncs his Treo smart phone with his online calender so he always knows when he has to be where. I know that as the Law Office gets busier I’ll have to adapt to that too. But for now, I try to ask him daily what his schedule is for the following day, maybe the week, and write it in my calender. I keep my calender on the kitchen counter (right by the coffee pot) so he can glance at it in the mornings, on a rare chance that I’ve got something scheduled that day. I also try to let him know what my day looks like, just so he’ll know.

Zale’s office is in our bonus room above our garage. It’s completely separate from the rest of house, you can’t even hear what’s going on down stairs if the doors are closed. The only problem with that is our house isn’t laid out in the best way. So if Zale has a client that needs to come to the office, they would have to go through the house or through the garage. Not very professional. But, I think it’s becoming more of a trend to meet at coffee shops or restaurants these days anyway, so that’s probably how things will work out.

In our case, if a client is coming to his office, and it’s at all possible I plan to take the kids for an outing to make it easier on everyone. I do hope that the next house will have a separate entrance so these things won’t be necessary, but for now it works. And it sure beats signing a lease somewhere and furnishing an office when you’re just starting out!!

So, to summarize, Wives, forget that your husband is even in the house during working hours. Pretend he’s not even there. If he gets to join the family for lunch, it’s just a bonus. Don’t have the expectations that because he’s working from home he can spend all his time with his family. Give him the space he needs to work and provide for his family, your family.

Husbands, be a better communicator than you’ve ever been before. Especially if your wife is a stay at home mom. From my experience, when Zale worked full time I was able to call him every now and then if something came up or maybe send an e mail. But even that can change when he’s working for himself and having to work even harder for an income.  Keep your wife up to date on your schedule. You don’t have to detail every minute, but I promise she’ll appreciate knowing if you have a business meeting or lunch scheduled with a client.

Be patient with each other as you both adjust to this huge change. Working from home has so many advantages and can be a great experience for the whole family!