Monthly Archives: April 2009

walking / work out diary Wednesday & Thursday

Last night I had a serious sinking spell and took a little cap nap around 6:30 or so. As I’m laying in my recliner thinking how good it would feel to go ahead and go to bed I also had a thought of how nice it would be to go for a walk with my faimly. I half way sat up and asked Zale if he wanted to go for a walk. He actually thought maybe I was talking in my sleep. I guess it does seem a bit strange to go from being knocked out to walking around the neighborhood.

We somehow mustered up enough energy to get the girls together and get out the door. I couldn’t talk Anthony into going, begging didn’t even help. As we get outside Zale gets a call from a previous client who needs his services again. And I think while we were walking he got a couple of other calls. I imagine that when the law office is more established and we’re not so broke I won’t be too thrilled about Zale taking business calls at 7:00 while we’re having family time. But for now it doesn’t bother me a bit and I’m thanking God for His provision! We were out about an hour, we walked three times around the neighborhood and stopped to talk to some new friends while we were out. I even ran a little bit with the stroller. Reagan was grinning and Hannah was yelling “go faster, go faster!”

This afternoon Hannah asked to go for a walk again. It looked like it was going to storm, but I figured we could make it around the neighborhood once or twice before it starting raining. We made it around three times with Hannah wanting more. It never did rain, but I was ready to go inside. Unfortunately, on our way back in the house, Reagan fell and scraped her knees. She’s a pretty tough little girl and didn’t cry too much. Not even when I was cleaning her up and she loves the Hello Kitty Band aids.

craving

One of the most favorite things I love to eat is chocolate milk and peanut butter. I make a glass of chocolate milk and sit down with the jar of peanut butter. (Okay, so it’s no surprise that I weighed over 200 pounds not that long ago). I get a little bit of peanut butter on a spoon, dip it in the chocolate milk and go to town. I’ve done this since I was a kid, probably middle school. The problem is that before I know it, a forth of the jar of peanut butter is gone. Of course I’d use 1% milk and low sugar chocolate syrup, but that doesn’t make it much better. Kind of like drinking a diet coke with a candy bar.

Anyway, today, for some unknown reason, I’m really wanting to sit down with that jar of peanut butter and the biggest glass of chocolate milk I can find. I don’t know why, today of all days it’s hitting me so hard. And all morning I’ve been battling with myself. “But I’m playing racquetball with Dad today, so it would be okay, I’ll have a good work out and it won’t be a big deal.” I don’t know if it’s a trait of all women, or just me, but give me five minutes and I can justify just about anything! During this inner battle I’ve tried to keep myself busy so I won’t give in to those temptations, and so far it’s worked. What really helped though was answering a comment to my before and during post. Seeing myself over 200 pounds was enough to make me back away from the peanut butter!

So thanks, Jason. For leaving a comment which lead me to that picture, which reminded me of how I got to that unhealthy and unhappy weight to begin with! Otherwise I may just be sitting in my recliner eating the last thing I should be eating right now!

work out & yard work

For me yard work is a work out…..but this post covers yesterday and today.

Yesterday morning I went with my Dad to be a part of the local MS walk in Gallatin, TN. We walked 5 miles in an hour, that’s a record for me! I think I’ve done 5 miles on the treadmill before, but it took me over an hour, and that was a long time ago. It was nice to walk with Dad, we were able to talk and laugh. The time went by quickly and I even managed to run a bit here and there. I had been concerned that I wouldn’t be able to do it, but I made it, so that was a good thing!

This morning I woke up a bit sore from walking yesterday, but it was time to mow the yard again and I really wanted the exercise. I fully intended to push mow the whole yard again, but I think my body wasn’t in agreement with my mind. After mowing the front, sides, and a little bit of the back I wimped out and finished up with the riding mower. I think it was still a pretty good work out.

I may not be able to walk tomorrow.

Before & During

There are times that my mind knows how much weight I’ve lost, but for some reason it doesn’t feel like I’ve accomplished much. I know the numbers on the scale have gone down almost 40 pounds, and I’m wearing a smaller size, but there are still days when I don’t feel any different than I did 39 pounds ago. So when I came across these pictures, one taken last 4th of July, and the other taken a week ago, I finally realized that I really have changed. The weight loss is real. I still have 21 pounds or so to lose, but here is a picture of “before” I started Weight Watchers, and the current picture. I didn’t label them before and after, because it’s not after yet.

July 4, 2008 - "before"

July 4, 2008 - "before"

I should mention that when this picture was taken, Zale was in a 38, he’s now in a 32. We’re about even on the scale, which just kills me. I hate it when I weigh more than he does! But I’m very happy for him, that he’s done so well with this journey too! Zale’s holding Hannah, and I have Reagan. That’s our good friend in the back ground, we were at his house for their party. His wife, one of my closest friends was the one that insisted on the picture. I don’t know what my exact weight was for that day, but when I started Weight Watchers a couple of months later, my first weigh in was 204. Ouch, that even hurts to type!

Man that was hard to do, now for the “during” picture. This one is a bit easier to post.

April 16, 2009 - "during"

April 16, 2009 - "during"

This was taken at my birthday dinner last week. I’m standing with my good friend from childhood, Laura (hope she doesn’t mind me putting her picture on my blog!). She and I were inseperable until 3rd or 4th grade. We reconnected on Facebook and my Dad arranged for her and her husband to come to dinner as a surprise. Turns out we’ve lived about 20 miles away from each other for many years, but didn’t even know it.  Anyway, it was a great surprise, great food (Japanese Hibichi), and a wonderful night! I’m not satisfied weighing 165 pounds, but it sure is better than 204!

How He Loves

This is long, but so worth the 10 minutes it takes to watch it. An amazing song and an even more amazing story. (Have tissues near by.) God is so good, and changing lives every day! Have you let Him change your life yet? He’s just a prayer away.

women

Most of my life, especially my adult life, I’ve struggled with having relationships with women. I’ve always gotten along better with men. Even in high school I had more guy friends than girl friends. When I worked in the auto finance industry I had better relationships with my male co workers than female co workers. I’ve never been that girl who had tons of girlfriends.

I’ve had a pretty bad opinion of women most of my life, which may be weird since I am one. But I’ve never been trusting of them, and have always looked more at the negative characteristics that some, not all, women can have. My problem was lumping them all together. Let’s face it, women can be vindictive, territorial, judgmental, jealous, stuck up, two faced, vicious…you get my point. The saying “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” wasn’t made up out of the blue. Someone, somewhere encountered the fury of a woman scorned!

I know the reasons why I’ve been this way, but it wasn’t until the last couple of years, and even more recently, that God’s really been working on me about this and I’ve been learning to let go and start to trust women.

As an adult I wasn’t ever part of a church home until Zale and I got together and we started looking. It took a long time, and some of these visits to the many churches we tried out didn’t do much to help my opinion of women. But when we started going to LifeChurch.TV in June or July of 2006, that slowly started to change. I still wasn’t real comfortable with “letting someone in”, but as we got more involved  I began meeting people who were sincere and loving, even the women!  I remember thinking, Wow, really? Finally, some of the walls I had built up for years began to crumble away.

And now, I’m involved with not one, but two woman’s LifeGroups. Not long ago if someone had told me that would be the case I never would have believed it.  These women are amazing and for the first time in a long time I’m daring to share my life, my hopes, my fears,  and my frustrations, with these wonderful women God has placed in my life.

For so long I’ve used Zale as my safety net. We went to a wonderful LifeGroup for over a year before starting our own, that lasted over a year as well.  I wasn’t ever truly comfortable unless Zale was there too. But thanks to the changes God has made in me, and thankfully is still making, my opinion of women is changing, for the better. And I’m grateful! I know my life will be better for knowing these women. They have already been a huge blessing to me, and my family. God is so good!

God is our refiner

A wonderful friend from church e mailed this to me, I couldn’t help but share it with you.

Malachi 3:3 says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.  One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.  As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says:  “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.  The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.  The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.” If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

I have refined you, not as silver is refined Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering.                Isaiah 48:10

Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart. Proverbs 17:3

work out / yard work

I’m not sure what got into me today, I knew I was going to mow this morning, but I didn’t really know how I was going to do it. I always mow the front and sides with the push mower, but if I’m doing the whole yard in one day I usually use the riding mower on the back yard.

As I was mowing the front and sides, I realized that I still had some energy. So I kept going with the push mower. It felt like I had been out there forever,  and I really hated it when the mower ran out of gas, not once, but twice. Neither time close to the garage or gas tank. But I did it, I mowed the whole yard, the whole half acre with the push mower. There’s no way I could have done that 39 pounds ago. And I didn’t even feel like I was going to die afterward. Not a bad work out! :)

work out diary & weight loss update (two posts in one)

I wrote this a couple of weekends ago….

I had so many plans for today, the kids were at my Mom’s and Zale was going to be working at his 2nd job all day. For the first time in a long time I pretty much had a day to myself and almost didn’t know what to do or where to start first. My plan was to get up and mow the yard. It hasn’t been mowed yet this year, so it was in desperate need.

But when I woke up this morning, it felt so good to snuggle back up in the bed and go back to sleep, and that’s what I did. When I finally got up at 10:30, I realized there really wasn’t going to be time to mow, get myself ready, and go to the store before a birthday party I was invited to at 1:00. I had planned for the mowing to double as my work out today, when that fell through I figured I’d take advantage of not having the kids around, so I went upstairs and used the elliptical for 20 minutes. I would have done more, but I spent about an hour longer on the laptop than I planned. I don’t know how many of you are on Facebook, but between checking my e mail and connecting with people on Facebook, an hour can go by very quickly.

After church this evening I was able to get home and push mow the front yard, a little bit of the back yard around the house & deck, and the side yards before it got dark. It felt good to be outside getting that accomplished. I don’t know what’s been going on with the weather in Tennessee, one day it’s 65 or 70 degrees, the next it’s 45. So to be out in the sunshine felt really good! Now if I can just get back out there tomorrow and finish the back yard!

And an additional post from today…

As it turns out I was able to finish push mowing the back yard that Sunday. The yard hasn’t been mowed since. Partly because it’s been raining or too cold. Hopefully I can get it done tomorrow if the weather holds.

My weight loss has been going much slower, but I’m still losing. I haven’t been doing the Weight Watchers thing in awhile.  But I’ve been trying to keep portions down and not go too crazy. Obiviously that doesn’t work as well as Weight Watchers. I think I just got tired of being on any kind of restrictions. But with Hawaii just 9 or 10 weeks away, I REALLY need to get serious about it! So far I’ve lost 39 pounds. My original goal was to have lost 60 by now, and that would have been nice, but I’m proud of 39 too. :) I’ve gone from a 16/18 dress size to a 12, although some 12′s are almost too big, but 10′s don’t quite fit yet. My overall dress size goal is an 8. That’s when I’ve been the most comfortable with myself in the past. It’s really nice to know I’m more than 1/2 way there. :) Don’t know that I’ll make it in time for Hawaii, but I’m gonna give it my best shot! :)

I haven’t done racquetball in a very long time, and I miss it. I haven’t done my step bench aerobics or even the Pilates DVD in a week or so, maybe going on 2 weeks. So that really needs to change ASAP! Like today! This whole process  really is such a mental thing. When I’m in a good frame of mind and focused, eating right and working out are just something I want to do. Other times, I want nothing more than to sleep all day and eat whatever is in sight. This weight loss thing is such a journey. It’s not just about eating better, but I think it’s about finding out why I wasn’t taking care of myself to begin with, and fixing that problem, before I can totally get a hold of a changed lifestyle and not fall back into unhealthy patterns. Like I said, a process, and a journey, that I’m still working on. Having 39 pounds gone is a good motivation. And knowing that I’m going to have to get in a swim suit very soon helps too! :)

I can’t believe I ate baby food and liked it

I love that my husband doesn’t like to waste anything, and has made many tasty dishes by using leftovers or things we have in the cabinet or fridge that I wouldn’t have thought of putting together. Somehow he makes it work. Another talent he has is cooking by smell. I’ve never seen anything like it, he can smell something and know if it needs more salt or some other spice added. I can cook or bake just about anything as long as I have a recipe, Zale can invent dishes or just have a general idea of what he wants to make and take it from there. Many times I have cooked something and asked him to taste it and make it better, or even fix it. But I never in my wildest dreams thought he’d use baby food. I mean, come on, yuck! Or so I thought.

We had left over baby food that Reagan wouldn’t touch. Both my girls wouldn’t have anything to do with baby food. They wanted to go straight from nursing to table food. Which is fine with me. I usually give away anything baby related we’re not using anymore, I just never got around to the baby food. Yesterday as I was getting a sippy cup out of the cabinet I realized all the baby food except one container was gone. I figured Zale got tired of seeing them in the cabinet and threw it away. For some reason I didn’t put two and two together.

A couple of days ago Zale made a vegatable beef soup/stew that was the best I’d ever had. He made it in the crock pot and it was amazing. We have a pretty small kitchen, so usually if one of us is cooking we do our best to keep the girls out of the other’s way. I didn’t have any idea what he used to make the stew, I figured it was just the normal veggies, beef, and maybe some spices. Today, after we ate the rest of it, he made reference to how he got rid of the baby food. Yep, right into the stew. It’s a really good thing he didn’t tell me about it until it was gone, or I would have missed out on some wonderful stew!